Shannon Martin

Seasons Changing

September 24, 2015April 15, 2016 Shannon MartinLeave a comment

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven

Ecclesiastes 3:1, NSRV

Voices of the past are echoing through my head this beautiful fall afternoon. There is something about the crispness in the air at this time of year that makes my thoughts turn nostalgic and a little melancholy at the same time. When I feel this way I always wonder if I am secretly an introvert pretending to be an extrovert. Regardless, a reflective mood is upon me.

Life hasn’t taken me where I thought it would. Then again, does life truly ever turn out the way we think it will? My current reality looks very different from my childhood dreams and visions. By default I am not implying that my life is bad in anyway, but it definitely doesn’t resemble the dreams of being a stay at home mom of two or three that drives a mini van and goes on play dates at the library with a lifelong best friend. Not bad, just different.

Along the way I have made choices that set this path before me. Other times choices were made for me based on the needs of my family. One of the things that I don’t think I did enough of earlier in my life was pray to the Father about where he wanted me to go. I didn’t ask what choices he wanted me to make. Have you ever wondered if God regrets the whole humans have free will thing?

The faces of dearly loved ones who have now departed from this life also fill my mind on these first days of Autumn. The years that have passed since losing them slip away but the ache of missing them still runs deep. It seems like they were just here yesterday and doesn’t seem possible that is has been years since I last talked with them. The wisdom they shared with me lives on in my memories.

The faces of dear friends that are kindred spirits also come to mind as I am in this melancholy reverie of sorts. I treasure the memories of deep conversations on religion and also fun times of fellowship with these wonderful guys and girls that were here in my life for a season but have since moved on to the next stops in their journeys. Perhaps I am feeling that loss so keenly right now because I am discovering so much in my Fellows readings that I am just bursting to have discussions about.

But all of those choices and people have brought me to the place I am today. So I am very grateful for every choice, every voice, and every face that I now miss. Each choice and each person in their own way shaped me into the person that I am becoming today. There have been moments of extreme laughter as well as times of excruciating pain, but every experience has had a hand in shaping me into who I have become. So while I sometimes wonder what life would be like if different choices had been made along the way, I am incredibly grateful for all of the blessings I have received in this mixed up crazy existence of mine.

This latest path in my journey may just be the start of the next big chapter. Who knows what wonders and experiences the path holds for me, but I am secure in the knowledge that I am no longer alone in my travels. With God as my travel guide the skies are the limits. My future could look very different indeed from my present. Perhaps there is an occupational change around the bend. I don’t know where this new adventure in learning is taking me, and that is okay, because I have the heavenly travel guide laying out my path and I can’t wait to see where it goes.

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.

Psalm 138:8, NSRV

Weighty Battles

September 13, 2015February 3, 2017 Shannon Martin1 Comment

This past weekend was an awesome weekend spent on a retreat. It was the starting place of the next great chapter in my spiritual journey. So much took place, my mind is still processing it all. I will be writing more on that later after things have percolated a little bit longer. This afternoon I need to focus on another train of thought.

What I realized this afternoon is that the evil one’s darts come quickly and his attacks can come at a moments notice. This is not new information, or even a new revelation for me. It did manage to creep up on me with absolutely no warning though. My guard was down, which is never a good thing. I was catching up on Facebook because I was offline for the most part while retreating. And that is when I saw it.

It was a picture filled with wonderful, God seeking people. The joy of a wonderful weekend spent together forging lasting connections is evident on each precious face. And then BAM! The darts begin to fly. I find myself extremely opposed.

The attack is fierce, its aim perfectly tailored for me. I am immediately distracted from all of the good of the weekend and immediately focused on the image of myself in that picture. He holds back no punches as his darts hammer into my brain directing my eyes to my form and whispering”look at that giant blob in the picture.” Look at that person! How can anyone take her thoughts seriously? She obviously doesn’t even take herself seriously or she wouldn’t be so disgustingly obese. She needs to find some self-respect and a lap band. The object of these cruel and vicious thoughts is the woman in purple in the front row. Me.

In my mortification, the evil one now begins to use me as a weapon of destruction towards myself. I blindly start to reach out to someone, anyone, that will validate that incredibly chubby woman in that picture is not me. Enter Maximus, bless his little heart! I show Maximus the picture that is now evoking feelings of worthlessness and ask him, “Why am I always the biggest person in every picture? It doesn’t make sense! Why am I that large? I try so hard to eat right! Why do I always look like the only large person in every single picture? Do you see any other bigger people? ” Not my finest moment, I will admit. I am trying to console myself by trying to identify someone else so that I am not the only one lost and alone. His response? Priceless. “Well, not as big a you….” and then utter silence as his eyes grew very large and very round “…..I mean not as cuddly as you!” Followed by intense giggling.

He quickly tries to make amends by saying, “it’s not funny as in haha funny, but funny as in I can’t believe I said that funny.” Followed by five more minutes of uncontrollable laughter. At that point I realized how quickly the evil one strikes. I am confessing all of this freely to anyone that will take the time to read it. In my human weakness, to cover up my own inadequacies and shame, I tried to lash out by looking for physical imperfection in others to make myself feel better. My petty, weak thoughts a result of my own brokeness intent on tearing down another precious creation of our loving God hoping to make myself feel better. Reverse body shaming at it’s finest. My hypocrisy abounding.

I refuse to be used as the evil one’s number one weapon against myself anymore. After asking God to help me, he showed me how far I have come by placing positive thoughts in my head to replace the negative ones. So if you have stuck with me this far through my low, celebrate some of my triumphs in this battle of the bulge with me now.

Since writing my initial post about my weight struggles I have become ten pounds lighter. That is nothing to sneeze at! It is only the beginning of a long journey, but a weighty one. I shed the equivalent of a large sack of potatoes or a small Thanksgiving turkey or two bags of sugar.

I am also winning the battle in my struggle with carbonated beverages. Although still unclear on what I will drink going forward, I am proud to proclaim that it has been over a week since I have consumed a diet soda. Water, ice tea, and coffee have been my beverages of choice. Truth be told, I could really go for a Dr. Pepper 10 right now.

This summer marked another incredible first for me. I participated in a 5K Color Run and finished it!!! Along with my mother and son. Such an awesome achievement shared with two of my greatest supporters! God has indeed been faithful to me as he leads me in my healthier life style pursuit.

Yoga is next on my list of physical firsts to try. Another blessing that has come out of the wonderful retreat this past weekend. Perhaps there will even be a picture or two of that eventually.

Spiritual Warfare is real. In moments of great spiritual awakening the army of darkness will strike to distract you from the purpose you were created for. They do not play fair. They will exploit any human weakness they can get at you with. Not because they are out to get you. They could care less about you. The army of darkness attacks because the evil commander’s goal is to destroy our heavenly Father. We are all beloved children of God.

Continue to move forward firm in your faith. Your Father in heaven loves you, just as he loves me. He sees us as his perfect creations. We are enough. We are good. We are flawless. If you still have doubts of about this (okay, so maybe I am still trying to make sure I feel better about myself as a daughter of the almighty King of creation) you need look no further than the recent new release by the group MercyMe. It says it all, flawlessly (I couldn’t resist! lol):

I can’t promise that I won’t become discouraged as I continue to move forward with my weight loss struggles. However, I can say with the utmost confidence that my Father in heaven delights in me exactly as I am. He is my strength, my salvation, and my shield. When the darts of evil attack me he will protect me always. I am safe and secure in the arms of my Savior, Christ Jesus.

Little children, you are from God, and have conquered them; for the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. – 1 John 4:4, NRSV

Talking To Myself – Remembering Grandpa Eber

August 29, 2015January 13, 2016 Shannon Martin1 Comment

August 29, 1918 is a day that doesn’t have a holiday marked on it. No historical feats are rememberd on that day. The calendar by all accounts reflects this as just another day. Our household, however, holds that date near and dear to our hearts. Today marks the 97th anniversary of Grandpa Eber’s birthday.

It seems like only yesterday we were sitting next to him in our family pew at Midway Mennonite Church in Columbiana, OH. The dear gentleman attended this church almost his entire life. The days have been quickly passing by and it doesn’t seem possible that he has been eternally home with his Lord and Savior for almost four years now.

Many things have changed in our lives since he went home. This past month was an especially crazy one for our household filled with the busyness that comes when you move house. This new homecoming has been especially sweet as we are just down the road from the house Grandpa Eber grew up in. In a way, the prodigal son’s grandson has returned. Home here just feels right knowing we are walking and driving the same roads he once knew so well.

We also cherish the memories of his hearty chuckle and the teasing twinkle he would get in his eyes. Treasured moments we think back on and we recall many holiday meals spent in his company. I will forever be grateful for his wise counsel that he gave on many occasions when we were riding in the car.

In reflecting upon this gentle giant of a man this evening I found among his poems a fitting piece to share with you as we honor his memory and celebrate his life story today:

Talking To Myself

You may listen in, but I’m talking to me, I marvel at all the things I see; beauty that meets the eye, I prize, may soon be gone, I realize.

What a miracle is sight; the sunrise, and the sunset bright; and what we do between these two is surely up to me and you.

But I could shut the beauty out if I live my life with fear, and doubt. Whatever the future I may face, may I live my life with faith and grace.

How marvelous the sounds I hear; great music that I hold so dear. The sound of love from a friendly voice, life is so good, so I rejoice.

Is a little silent gloating allowed? Of my family I am very proud; whatever their work, where-err their place, each one lives with style and grace.

Here I have been talking to me, I marvel at the things I hear and see; and in my life may I applaud the greatness of our loving God.

Don’t forget, I’m talking to myself, obsessed by beauty, not by wealth. “Self” I say, “how can it be such good things are happening to me?”

-Eber S. Martin

A man who found great joy in the beauty of God’s creation all around him, Grandpa Eber was always filled with praise and thanksgiving. If we could all see that same beauty that he saw in every thing and everybody, how blessed would our existence be?

Thank you Grandpa, for your constant encouragement. Thank you for sharing your deep faith with me when mine was floundering. We will always have you close to us in our hearts and memories, and look forward to the day when we can here you say, “Weellll then, who goes there? Is it you? I hope it is you because it isn’t me!”, once more .

Finding God in the Every Day

July 6, 2015April 15, 2016 Shannon MartinLeave a comment

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it. (Hebrews 13:2, NRSV)

We have all heard at one time or another the passage in Hebrews that tells us to be kind to strangers because you just never know when you may be talking to an angel. Isn’t that an awesome thought? For anyone that knows me, one thought like that leads to another…

So of course the direction that my mind takes off in is to idealize what a perfect meal (because of course hospitality includes good food!) would be like. I envision starting off the meal with an herbed tomato salad made with dainty, vibrant heirloom tomatoes. The main course should include angel chicken sitting on a bed of angel hair pasta. Of course the only logical conclusion to this meal would be to finish off with angel food cake covered in juicy, ripe strawberries and swirls of fluffy, whipped cream.

The conversation around the perfectly set dining room table is deep and meaningful. We cover important topics like relieving poverty, providing safe food and clean drinking water to all, and how to achieve world peace.

However, I don’t think that is quite what the writer of Hebrews was trying to convey in this verse.

Entertaining is stressful and messy.

Life is stressful and messy.

Last week I attended the MC USA biennial convention in Kansas City, Missouri as one of the youth sponsors with our MYF group. We connected with old friends, became better acquainted with familiar faces, learned new things in seminars, and came together to worship and praise our God during daily worship services.

Our time was filled with endless opportunities to know and hear God’s voice. We rose early to gain new insights or fresher understandings of things we already knew at the multiple seminars that were available. We were servants together in city-wide service projects. The fellowship and opportunities to be community together were plentiful. The nights ran late with worship services and were followed by more recreation time together. A fellow convention attendee said at the end of the week they were physically exhausted but spiritually filled.

The Emmaus Road in Luke 24 was the scripture focus. Some very gifted musicians, teachers, and preachers helped us to unpack this scripture through a series of dramas, songs, and sermon messages. We came away with the understanding that even though we may not see him, Jesus is always walking with us. Even in the bad times in our lives he is there, using the situation as part of the process, and ultimately there is a purpose in all that is happening that he can use to help teach us and mold us into something new and better. This is a very brief synopsis of the messages last week, and doesn’t even begin to convey the talent of the gifted people who facilitated all of the worship services.

As the week came to a close, Kim Litwiller, Associate Conference Minister for the Illinois Mennonite Conference, opened the worship service on Saturday night, just as she had done for all of the youth worship services throughout the week. She told us how sad she was to see the week close, but rather than asking us what we were taking away from our time together, Kim asked us, “Where did you see God this week?”

Where did you see God this week?

The question took me by surprise. All week I had been looking for what God wanted to do with me, but I don’t know that I was looking for him around me. My eyes were apparantly blinded.

Which made me start thinking.

Are we so busy looking for angels that appear in rays of glowing heavenly light among us that we miss the angelic moments brought to us by humanity? Do television shows and movies now have us conditioned to be looking for the extraordinary rather than paying attention to the everyday ordinary occurences and people?

What if while you are following the advice of the writer of Hebrews and showing hospitality, just in case it is an angel, you yourself are being used by God to be someone else’s angel?

During that last opening message, Kim used an illustration of where she had seen God during the convention. She told a story about a moment in her week to the 2000+ people (youth and sponsors) gathered, that she said could have been quite embarrassing for her. She had just come back to the hotel after her morning run and stopped in the lobby to get a cup of coffee. She had a flavor shot put into the cup and turned to walk to the coffee dispensers when she accidentally dropped the cup. The sticky liquid in the cup spilled on the floor and the bottom of the counter. A woman standing close by very quickly came to Kim’s aid and helped her to get it cleaned up and on her way again. In that woman, at that moment in time, Kim saw God working.

Are we paying attention to how God is using those around us for his purposes?

Are we aware as we are helping others that God is using us for his purposes?

How often do others see God through the random acts of kindness we are offering to others?

Perhaps the writer of Hebrews should have instructed us to act as angels to others by showing hospitality, empathy, and compassion rather than to watch for one of them. By helping others through good deeds and servant acts when they are in need, God is using us to help spread the light in his Kindgom.

For the most part, we will probably never know how our acts of kindness have uplifted or encouraged others. Every now and again God does allow us to see the good we did with just a random act of kindness though. In the most unlikely of ways.

The woman at the hotel coffee counter that quickly came to help that morning was me. Never in a million years did I image that simple act would be remembered or have any kind of impact.

We, the children of God in his kingdom on earth, are the hands and feet of Jesus. Let’s use those hands and feet to spread his love by showing his love through acts of kindness in a dark and cruel world. Let’s take turns carrying each others crosses and bearing each other’s burdens.

Each one helps the other, saying to one another, “Take courage!” The artisan encourages the goldsmith, and the one who smooths with the hammer encourages the one who strikes the anvil, saying of the soldering, “It is good”; and they fasten it with nails so that it cannot be moved. (Isaiah 41:5-7, NSRV)

Finding Narnia

June 9, 2015January 13, 2016 Shannon MartinLeave a comment

Never before had I felt so nervous. I have stood at the front of our sanctuary countless times before, but this time it was different. I was not there to lead worship or hymns, it was not the start of a night at vacation bible school. It was after the offering prayer on that particular Sunday morning, and the regular announcements were done. The only thing left for me to do before turning the service back over to Pastor for the benediction was to make an announcement that was very personal to me…

Level Setting:

For the past several months I have been struggling to discern what God is calling me to do. I had spent many hours in prayer, sought the counsel of prayerful people, started a blog, but still couldn’t quite figure out what that little, quiet voice was trying to say to my soul. Until we had a guest speaker in our pulpit.

The visitor was from the C.S. Lewis Institute and his goal that morning was to introduce our congregation to his local office in Youngstown. He talked about what the Institute was and the need for discipleship. He was a very interesting speaker and passionate about his topic! I couldn’t believe we had such a great place in such close proximity to us.

Then he mentioned that the Institute also offered a fellows program. Intrigued by the few comments he had made about the Fellows program I wanted to know more and stopped by the information table that was set up. The very lovely wife of our guest speaker provided me with a wealth of information about this program.

The Fellows program is a year-long structure for people who want to learn more about discipleship and apologetics. It involves a monthly time commitment, extensive reading, meeting regularly with a small group, and one on one time with a mentor each month. It sounded a little overwhelming, but I put my name and email on a list of people who would like to receive more information, but I wasn’t convinced this was for me. I went home inundated with new thoughts and questions.

Then the small voices shouted, “This is it! Seize it!”

All at once I realized that this could be the answer to all of my prayers, and began to talk about it in earnest with my husband. He agreed that it did seem like the kind of program I would love, and he encouraged me to continue to pray about it. It did indeed seem that this was all part of what the Spirit has been nudging me to do.

The application process was intimidating to say the least! It started with a six page application that required essay type answers to questions about where I was in my spiritual life, how often I read my bible, what the quality of my prayer life was like, and what kind of spiritual gifts was I given?

In addition to the application I completed, I had to find two people to complete recommendations for me. One had to be from the Pastor and the other from a person that has known me for a while and can attest to where I am currently at in my journey.

After all of the paperwork was in, I continued to pray as I waited for a response. It came in the form of an interview request, and on a bright sunny afternoon in April I entered the offices of the C.S. Lewis Institute in Youngstown for what turned out to be a half hour interview.

Then the wait began in earnest.

A week passed.

Then another.

Followed by a third.

I was started to doubt that I had received the correct message from the Spirit. Each day I eagerly stopped at the end of our driveway to check the mailbox. For anyone that knows us well, they know that we rarely check our mailbox on a regular basis because all of our bills and expenses come electronically. So the box is normally overflowing with flyers and junk mail before we get it. But for three long weeks I was a faithful attendant to the poor little mailbox at the end of our driveway that is missing its little door.

Finally a letter arrived, and it was good news!

Such an awesome feeling to see how the hand of Providence moves! All the things that I have been seeking will be tackled in this coming year. So many expectations are building of what the coming year holds in store during this journey.

First and foremost is a better understanding of what I believe and why that will lead to a deeper, more meaningful faith. One that will sustain me better in the storms of life and will draw me closer to my Maker.

My hope is that this program will help me overcome my “yes” person ways, allowing me to become more focused and intentional in everything that I do. For the past few years I have been a Martha, scurrying to do every task that comes my way. Now the time has come for me to be Mary, and sit at the feet of the great Teacher and learn his ways.

All of these things combined will help me to be better able to disciple and relate to those around me. It will give me the confidence to lead our youth in Sunday school knowing that I can help them find their way. The knowledge on theology and apologetics will also be greatly beneficial in my role as a worship leader.

The writer in me is eager for so many new experiences. Perhaps this will be just the ticket to help me identify what my gifts are and how best to use them!

Back to my nerves at the front of the sanctuary:

On a warm morning at the end of May, with great trepidation I began to share the big news. I had never before shared anything that related directly to me before my church family. However that morning the story above came spilling out. The support and love coming back from them is beyond fantastic.

Orientation for the 2015-2016 Fellows program is just a few short weeks away. I can’t wait to dive in head first! Some of my books have begun to arrive and the required reading has begun! Looking forward to the adventures Yahweh has in store!

Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.” (Matthew 7:7, NRSV)