Tag: Midway Menno Pixie

Balancing Act

Shannon MartinLeave a comment

Modern life is definitely fast paced.  We have cities that never sleep.  We race around until we are about to have a nervous breakdown because we are out of time and energy and there are hardly any items checked off of the to do list.

Why?  Why are we stressing ourselves so much with a multitude of demands on our time?

It most likely comes back to our western culture.  Our values include things such as more is better and survival of the fittest.  We have become so used to the frantic paces of our lives that we struggle to spend any quiet time because it leaves us feeling like we should be busy.  That we are somehow being lazy.  We have forgetten how to engage in sabbath times.  This is greatly affecting our ability to spend quality time in relationship with God.

I have been reading this month a book by Paul E. Miller called A Praying Life, Connecting with God in a Distracting World as part of my reading  assignments for the Fellows Program.  He points out that one of the reasons we fail at prayer is because when we can’t stand to stop long enough:

American culture is probably the hardest place in the world to learn to pray. We are so busy that when we slow down to pray, we find it uncomfortable. We prize accomplishments, production. But prayer is nothing but talking to God. It feels useless, as if we are wasting time. Every bone in our bodies screams, “Get to work.” – pg 15

It pains me to admit it, but I am in this category.  I consistently struggle to find space for consistent prayer times in my life.  I have the best intentions, but still continue to be more of a conversational prayerer more than anything else.

By this I mean that I have little conversations with God throughout the day.  For example when I am in the car driving to or from work.  Or when I am in the latest battle of wills with Mr. Max (my son).  When I lay down in bed at night.

I also frequently do what Mr. Miller refers to as breath prayers, which are quick phrases said in a single breath (pg 68).  So it is not unusual for me to say a quick prayer like, “Lord give me strength” or “Lord help me learn patience” as I go about my day.

However, a quiet time of prayer daily seems to still be eluding me.  I am determined to change this because I can feel the presence of God during these quick times of prayer, and it makes me want to have that feeling more often!  I tend to be a highly emotional person who can be  a little high strung.  How much more effective could I be as a woman of God if I could feel his calming presence more regularly in my days?

So what is keeping me from devoting this time to be in relationship with God each day?  It is my crazy 21st century life.   Even though I have cut back my involvement in things significantly both in my home life and my church life, there are still many responsibilities that have to be attended to:

  • Taking care of my husband and son
  • Taking care of our home
  • Working a full-time job as a department manager for a redistribution company
  • My studies and assignments for the C.S. Lewis Fellows Program
  • Church Ministries I am still part of
  • Exploring the writing nudges God has placed on my heart
  • Exercising and self-care
  • Quiet times for prayer and Bible Study

These areas of my life take up a huge chunk of my time.  I am pretty sure that no matter how hard or how often I pray for it, God will not provide me with more hours in the day!  So that means I am going to have to be more intentional with my time if I want to squeeze it all in.

As the busy season for me at work dies down I am now going to turn my focus to this list of priorities in my life.  They are all important areas of who I am and who God is calling me to be.  So cutting anything from this list isn’t an option.

So what can I do to make these things happen?

To start with, I need to take a look at the distractions in my life.  One important item to cut are the ministries that I am involved with that God is no longer calling me to be a part of.  I have struggled with this greatly these past couple of months.  It has been a hard lesson for me to learn that while all ministry endeavors are good not all of them are part of God’s plan for me at this time in my life.

Have you ever read the poem about people who come into your life?  Some are there for a reason, some for a season, and some are there for life.  I have discovered that this also applies to ministries I am involved with!

Some I have been called to for a reason.  God had a lesson for me to learn there, but now it is time to let the ministry go because I have received the intended lesson.  Others I have been called to for a season and will continue with these areas, like being a worship leader.  And still others I will be a part of for life.  So I have been slowly learning to let go of the areas of church life that I served in for just a reason or a season that has now ended.  These have been some of the hardest lessons I have learned to date.

Through my prayer conversations to and from work I am also realizing that I spend too much precious time watching unnecessary television.  So if I want to find more time for the priorities I have identified above, specifically more consistent quiet times with God through prayer and Bible study and exercising and self-care, then I need to not waste time watching reruns of shows I really could care less about.  Cutting down in this area can help in two ways:

  1. free up time in the evening after dinner to devote to exercise
  2. get me to bed earlier so that I can wake up a little earlier each morning to incorporate the quiet times

In addition to these two items, I realized that I will also need to be more intentional with our weekly meal planning.  I need to be considering healthy meal  choices while also keeping in mind prep times.  This will enable me to quickly take care of meal times for my family but also leave some free space in the evenings.

So there it is.

Most likely I will need to keep coming back and surrendering myself in prayer for the Father’s guiding hands in my life as I plan out how to use the valuable time he has given me each day.  This balancing act has been and will continue to be a struggle for me, but this time I am giving it to God and asking for his help.

I can do all things through him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13) when I take the time to be still and know that he is God (Psalm 46:10) and his plans for me are for my welfare and will give me hope for the future (Jeremiah 29:11).

 

 

 

 

Of Spirits and Their Warfare

Shannon MartinLeave a comment

Spiritual warfare.  What can I say about it that hasn’t been said before?  Is it real? Absolutely!

The doldrums, the blues, Jonah days — call them whatever you want. They are dark days mentally and spiritually depressing.

Dark nights of the soul.

Like most things in life, it doesn’t come in one shape or size.  Each experience is different for each person.  I suppose there can be similarities, but since no two people are alike no two experiences can be exactly alike.  I am not sure if what I experience is the norm in these instances or not, but this is what it feels like for me:

I feel like I am slipping into a deep dark hole drowning in darkness. It leaves me feeling hopeless and lost and lonely. And it is the loneliness that gets me the most.

I feel isolated and completely alone. All hope is gone. Which I know is not true.  I know that I have ever-present hope and I have been cleansed and saved but in the midst of the darkness it feels like I have lost all hope.

It feels like I’m alone and that is how he attacks me.

He isolates me and separates me and makes me feel as if no one in the world cares about me in any way shape or form and I am a lonely island adrift in icy cold dark waters.

So is there a spiritual warfare? Yes, unequivocally yes —  and the reason that no one can explain exactly what spiritual warfare is like is because it’s tailor-made for each and every one of us. The devil and his demons pick out their target and then look for the weaknesses and put together a custom plan of attack specifically for you, specifically for me.

The devil and his minions don’t stick to one plan of attack either.

Once they have done all they can with their frontal attack, then  they become even more covert and spring up from the sides or come from behind. They continue with other little attacks when you’re already feeling lost and hopeless and alone.

The evil army begins to make you question things like your confidence in yourself as a professional.  Or perhaps it is your  dependability or worthiness as a mother or a wife or a homemaker .  Maybe it is centered on your physical appearance making you wonder if anyone can take you seriously because you don’t fit into the super model mold.

Why do these attacks happen?

Not because Satan has anything against you per se, but because as soon as you make that choice  to step out in faith  and strive to be all that God has called you to be you have captured his undivided attention.

You see we are the front lines in our communities spreading the love and good news — Light bearers in a dark and broken world.

Satan’s  issues are with God not man . He is using his attacks at us to attack God.

Our Father in Heaven is just like any earthly parent and wants to protect us.  We are after all made in God’s image.  He wants to keep us safe and sheltered and covered with his love.

How far do we go to protect our loved ones?  Can you imagine how much farther our Father God goes to protect and care for us?

He went so far to protect and care for us that it cost him his Son!

So what can we as brothers and sisters in Christ do when faced with spiritual warfare? How do we help each other and support each other when in the midst of a great attack? In the words of the Apostle Paul in Ephesians, we stand firm, ready for battle, clothed in the full armor God has provided to us:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his power.  Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.  For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to withstand on that evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.  Stand therefore, and fasten the belt of truth around your waist, and put on the breastplate of righteousness.  As shoes for your feet put on whatever will make you ready to proclaim the gospel of peace. With all of these, take the shield of faith, with which you will be able to quench all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

 Pray in the Spirit at all times in every prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert and always persevere in supplication for all the saints. – Ephesians 6:10-18 (NRSV)

It has been said that we Christians have forgotten how to pray.  Our prayers ask for safety.  We ask God to watch over us and to watch over those we love and to keep us all safe.  We pray that no harm ever come to us.

The Christians in the early church, as well as Christians in times of persecution, didn’t pray for safety.  They prayed for boldness.  For the ability to go forward proclaiming the goodness and saving grace of Jesus on the cross no matter what the cost.

We also need to be more diligent in wielding the sword of spirit.

The Bible.

The Spirit-breathed words of God.

We need to study and immerse ourselves in these words committing them to memory and storing them away in our hearts. That way when the attacks come we are at the ready with our sword to defend ourselves.  Jesus himself gave us this example when he was tempted by Satan in the desert.

Perhaps the biggest enemy we have when it comes to spiritual warfare is ourselves.  We have become so caught up in the concept of self-reliance in twenty-first century America that we try to take on the battles alone.

We need to embrace the examples of our ancestors and rely on our mighty and powerful God to fill us with his strength.  We need to leave behind the preconceived notions that we must handle things on our own or be considered weak.

In the end we are all weak.  We need to cling to and place our hope and faith in God.  Only he can can equip us for the battles and only he can lead us through them.  We are engaged in a battle for today, but Jesus has already won the war for eternity.

Indeed, you are my lamp, O Lord, the Lord lightens my darkness.  By you I can crush a troop,
    and by my God I can leap over a wall.  This God—his way is perfect;
    the promise of the Lord proves true;
    he is a shield for all who take refuge in him.  –2 Samuel 22:29-31 (NRSV)

MennoNerds Affiliate – It’s Official!!!

Shannon MartinLeave a comment

I am thrilled to announce that Wisdom Wanderings is now a MennoNerds Affiliate!!!  What an incredible blessing to be affiliated with this talented group of Anabaptist-minded thinkers!

MennoNerds

If you enjoy what you are reading here at Wisdom Wanderings, head on over to MennoNerds for more great folks to read and follow.

 

God is good!  All glory  and praise to Him as He holds my hand and continues to lead me on this journey.

Seasons Changing

Shannon MartinLeave a comment

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven

Ecclesiastes 3:1, NSRV

Voices of the past are echoing through my head this beautiful fall afternoon.  There is something about the crispness in the air at this time of year that makes my thoughts turn nostalgic and a little melancholy at the same time.  When I feel this way I always wonder if I am secretly an introvert pretending to be an extrovert.  Regardless, a reflective mood is upon me.

Life hasn’t taken me where I thought it would.  Then again, does life truly ever turn out the way we think it will?  My current reality looks very different from my childhood dreams and visions.  By default I am not implying that my life is bad in anyway, but it definitely doesn’t resemble the dreams of being a stay at home mom of two or three that drives a mini van and goes on play dates at the library with a lifelong best friend.  Not bad, just different.

Along the way I have made choices that set this path before me.  Other times choices were made for me based on the needs of my family.  One of the things that I don’t think I did enough of earlier in my life was pray to the Father about where he wanted me to go. I didn’t ask what choices he wanted me to make.  Have you ever wondered if God regrets the whole humans have free will thing?

The faces of dearly loved ones who have now departed from this life also fill my mind on these first days of Autumn.  The years that have passed since losing them slip away but the ache of missing them still runs deep.  It seems like they were just here yesterday and doesn’t seem possible that is has been years since I last talked with them.  The wisdom they shared with me lives on in my memories.

The faces of dear friends that are kindred spirits also come to mind as I am in this melancholy reverie of sorts.  I treasure the memories of deep conversations on religion and also fun times of fellowship with these wonderful guys and girls that were here in my life for a season but have since moved on to the next stops in their journeys.  Perhaps I am feeling that loss so keenly right now because I am discovering so much in my Fellows readings that I am just bursting to have discussions about.

But all of those choices and people have brought me to the place I am today.  So I am very grateful for every choice, every voice, and every face that I now miss.  Each choice and each person in their own way shaped me into the person that I am becoming today.  There have been moments of extreme laughter as well as times of excruciating pain, but every experience has had a hand in shaping me into who I have become.  So while I sometimes wonder what life would be like if different choices had been made along the way, I am incredibly grateful for all of the blessings I have received in this mixed up crazy existence of mine.

This latest path in my journey may just be the start of the next big chapter.  Who knows what wonders and experiences the path holds for me, but I am secure in the knowledge that I am no longer alone in my travels.  With God as my travel guide the skies are the limits.  My future could look very different indeed from my present.  Perhaps there is an occupational change around the bend.  I don’t know where this new adventure in learning is taking me, and that is okay, because I have the heavenly travel guide laying out my path and I can’t wait to see where it goes.

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.

Psalm 138:8, NSRV

Weighty Battles

Shannon Martin1 Comment

This past weekend was an awesome weekend spent on a retreat.  It was the starting place of the next great chapter in my spiritual journey.  So much took place, my mind is still processing it all.  I will be writing more on that later after things have percolated a little bit longer.  This afternoon I need to focus on another train of thought.

What I realized this afternoon is that the evil one’s darts come quickly and his attacks can come at a moments notice.  This is not new information, or even a new revelation for me.  It did manage to creep up on me with absolutely no warning though.  My guard was down, which is never a good thing.  I was catching up on Facebook because I was offline for the most part while retreating.  And that is when I saw it.

It was a picture filled with wonderful, God seeking people.  The joy of a wonderful weekend spent together forging lasting connections is evident on each precious face.  And then BAM! The darts begin to fly.  I find myself extremely opposed.

The attack is fierce, its aim perfectly tailored for me.  I am immediately distracted from all of the good of the weekend and immediately focused on the image of myself in that picture.  He holds back no punches as his darts hammer into my brain directing my eyes to my form and whispering”look at that giant blob in the picture.”  Look at that person!  How can anyone take her thoughts seriously?  She obviously doesn’t even take herself seriously or she wouldn’t be so disgustingly obese.  She needs to find some self-respect and a lap band.  The object of these cruel and vicious thoughts is the woman in purple in the front row.  Me.

In my mortification, the evil one now begins to use me as a weapon of destruction towards myself.  I blindly start to reach out to someone, anyone, that will validate that incredibly chubby woman in that picture is not me.  Enter Maximus, bless his little heart!  I show Maximus the picture that is now evoking feelings of worthlessness and ask him, “Why am I always the biggest person in every picture?  It doesn’t make sense!  Why am I that large?  I try so hard to eat right!  Why do I always look like the only large person in every single picture?  Do you see any other bigger people? ”  Not my finest moment, I will admit.  I am trying to console myself by  trying to identify someone else so that I am not the only one lost and alone.  His response? Priceless. “Well, not as big a you….”  and then utter silence as his eyes grew very large and very round “…..I mean not as cuddly as you!”   Followed by intense giggling.

He quickly tries to make amends by saying, “it’s not funny as in haha funny, but funny as in I can’t believe I said that funny.”  Followed by five more minutes of uncontrollable laughter.  At that point I realized how quickly the evil one strikes.  I am confessing all of this freely to anyone that will take the time to read it.  In my human weakness, to cover up my own inadequacies and shame, I tried to lash out by looking for physical imperfection in others to make myself feel better.  My petty, weak thoughts a result of my own brokeness intent on tearing down another precious creation of our loving God hoping to make myself feel better.  Reverse body shaming at it’s finest.  My hypocrisy abounding.

I refuse to be used as the evil one’s number one weapon against myself anymore.  After asking God to help me, he showed me how far I have come by placing positive thoughts in my head to replace the negative ones.  So if you have stuck with me this far through my low, celebrate some of my triumphs in this battle of the bulge with me now.

Since writing my initial post about my weight struggles I have become ten pounds lighter.  That is nothing to sneeze at!   It is only the beginning of a long journey, but a weighty one.  I shed the equivalent of a large sack of potatoes or a small Thanksgiving turkey or two bags of sugar.

I am also winning the battle in my struggle with carbonated beverages.  Although still unclear on what I will drink going forward, I am proud to proclaim that it has been over a week since I have consumed a diet soda.  Water, ice tea, and coffee have been my beverages of choice.  Truth be told, I could really go for a Dr. Pepper 10 right now.

This summer marked another incredible first for me.  I participated in a 5K Color Run and finished it!!!  Along with my mother and son.  Such an awesome achievement shared with two of my greatest supporters!  God has indeed been faithful to me as he leads me in my healthier life style pursuit.

Yoga is next on my list of physical firsts to try.  Another blessing that has come out of the wonderful retreat this past weekend.  Perhaps there will even be a picture or two of that eventually.

Spiritual Warfare is real.  In moments of great spiritual awakening the army of darkness will strike to distract you from the purpose you were created for.  They do not play fair.  They will exploit any human weakness they can get at you with.  Not because they are out to get you.  They could care less about you.  The army of darkness attacks because the evil commander’s goal is to destroy our heavenly Father. We are all beloved children of God.

Continue to move forward firm in your faith.  Your Father in heaven loves you, just as he loves me.  He sees us as his perfect creations.  We are enough.  We are good.  We are flawless.  If you still have doubts of about this (okay, so maybe I am still trying to make sure I feel better about myself as a daughter of the almighty King of creation) you need look no further than the recent new release by the group MercyMe.  It says it all, flawlessly (I couldn’t resist! lol):

I can’t promise that I won’t become discouraged as I continue to move forward with my weight loss struggles.  However, I can say with the utmost confidence that my Father in heaven delights in me exactly as I am.  He is my strength, my salvation, and my shield.   When the darts of evil attack me he will protect me always.  I am safe and secure in the arms of my Savior, Christ Jesus.

Little children, you are from God, and have conquered them; for the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. – 1 John 4:4, NRSV

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