Shannon Martin

Showing Hospitality to Elephants

March 14, 2015January 13, 2016 Shannon Martin1 Comment

As the arctic air subsides and the frozen tundra known as North East Ohio begins to thaw we start to look for the first signs of spring. For me, one of those signs that spring is upon us takes the shape of the Annual Conference Assembly of the Ohio Mennonite Conference of the Mennonite Church USA.

The past year has taken a toll on our conference and it was with some feelings of trepidation that I set out with our group from Midway this morning to drive to Martins Creek Mennonite located in Millersburg, Ohio. The somber air of the business sessions that took place today are a testament to all of the issues that are currently circulating, as we all try to ignore the elephant in the room that has become a regular member of our assembly.

There are some spaces at our round tables that are now permanently empty because the unrest and turmoil has led some of our congregations to decide to leave our conference over polity issues. Their exodus has left a gaping wound that many of us are still trying to understand and seems to be at odds with the scripture theme that was chosen for this assembly, love and hospitality, which is found in Romans 12: 9-13:

Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor. Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints; extend hospitality to strangers. (NRSV)

The lighter moods of past assemblies have vanished. In their place is a thick blanket of tension that is hanging in the air, making it hard to articulate intelligent conversations that are open and honest during our table discussions. The atmosphere of grace and love that characterized the conversations that took place at the special delegate session last August is nowhere to be found.

Further frustrations are being caused by the presence of talking pieces (TP), new to the tables this year, that limit each person to talking for just one minute at a time. You may only speak when you are physically holding the TP. Perhaps the intention of including this new circle table format was an effort to ensure everyone had a chance to speak, but the reality of it is that it is hampering the flow of discussion. It is also shifting our focus each time we have to stop and wait for the TP to be transferred to the next person with something to share, preventing real conversations from taking place.

We are stepping on the sacred toes of group discernment which is a key hallmark of our Anabaptist beliefs, and what sets us apart from our Catholic and Protestant sisters and brothers.

The resolution that has been brought to the table, that is supposed to help calm the tensions caused by the decision by Mountain States Conference to license a pastor in a committed same sex relationship, still lacks the clarity that we as delegates keep seeking. It is all well and good to say that we affirm Article 19 of the Confession of Faith in a Mennonite Perspective, which is one of the governing books that contains the articles of what we as Mennonites believe together. However, if we don’t draw a clear line in the sand, how can we say that we are affirming it? The ambiguity created by this lack of a clear stand makes it impossible to determine what the appropriate sanctions should be for pastors and/or congregations that step across the line.

In addition, the lack of clarity makes it hard for our pastors to make decisions within their own congregations. How can they make a stand on one side of the line or the other if they don’t have feel like they have the full support at the state conference level to back them up? This current haze is leaving our pastors partially crippled in their duties instead of bolstering them up as they go about their kingdom work.

By the end of the second business session it felt to me as if there was a growing distrust for the leadership in general. The delegates and their congregations are having a hard time trusting that the leadership of Ohio Conference will lead us in the direction that the majority of our congregations have clearly stated we want to go.

At the same time, the leadership seems to be nervous about losing more congregations. They are trying in every way possible to find out if any more of the remaining congregations are on the verge of leaving the conference. This is causing, in my opinion, the leadership to lose focus of the important polity matters at hand during this assembly. They are focusing instead on the resources they provide for congregations. What they provide is very important to help each individual congregation achieve the good works they are persuing, but it doesn’t feel like this is the right time and place to be discussing those resources.

One of the things that I have always appreciated about the annual conference assembly is the variety of ways and styles of worship we see as we all gather to worship together. We embrace and celebrate the various ways we see our sisters and brothers of the Ohio Mennonite Conference preaching, teaching, and worshiping in song. We give thanks for all of the different Spirit filled ways we see people being led. I come away from those experiences refreshed and renewed with fresh fuel for the fire that is burning in my soul to do my part to help spread the love of God.

How do we figure out a way to convert that openness and acceptance we have for the different worship styles among us into how we enter into the conversations that need to be going on during the business sessions? If we can bridge this gap we might finally be able to not only address that elephant that has been with us during our sessions this past year, but actually start to extend some of that hospitality to the elephant and begin to move forward. Until we can extend that hospitality to the elephant, we will never be able to come together to dig in and to do the work that is at hand.

We live in a broker world that seems to be getting darker and more evil with each passing day. It is up to us to come together and to discern a clear path for our denomination which will in turn direct our future. We are responsible for sowing the seeds of the kingdom. Let us come together in love and fearlessly let the Holy Spirit move among us to facilitate our conversations and to direct our path as a body of believers.

So let us not grow weary in doing what is right, for we will reap at harvest time, if we do not give up. So then, whenever we have a opportunity let us work for the good of all, and especially for those of the family of faith. (Galatians 6: 9-11, NRSV)

Falling Down

February 11, 2015January 13, 2016 Shannon MartinLeave a comment

Lately I have been struggling more than usual on this journey called life. I have been finding myself filled with the bitterness of disappointments and wallowing in despair about life in general. Last week all of that yuckiness built up to an all time high and situations at work allowed those feeling to implode leaving me an emotional and stressed out wreck.

Last night I attended the Winter Cluster meeting for the Ohio Conference of Mennonite Church USA for our region. During the devotional time, Regional Pastor Ralph Reinford, talked about seasons and the different seasons of life. He went on to say that no matter what the season is, it will always pass and change to another season.

That made me reflect on what I have been experiencing lately and it filled me with new hope. I have been going through a season of frustrations, and it too shall pass.

At home we have been dealing with the changing moods and attitudes of our eleven year old son, Max. I would voluntarily go back to the terrible twos! In addition to the changing family dynamics, impatience with our finances has me chomping at the bit to FINALLY purchase our own home. We are so very close!

On the church front there are the usual issues that come up while serving in a small congregation. Changes are being made either too quickly or too slowly, depending upon who is asked. Couple that with the polity issues that are happening around the larger Mennonite denomination as a whole, and there is a recipe for instant frustration.

Then there is the guilty frustrations that come when you have new dreams that you can’t quite seem to make happen. I want to embrace this dream of writing and run with it. Unfortunately reality doesn’t agree with my agenda at the moment. It has been incredibly hard to find the time to write regular blog posts, let alone focus on other areas of this dream. I would like to find the time to learn more about the craft of writing to improve my new-found skills. There is also an impatience because I feel so strongly that God has been calling me to this but I don’t know what more I need to be doing with this gift. Should I be focusing on magazine articles? Is it a book that I need to write? Fiction or Nonfiction?

However, it is the stresses I have been experiencing at work that were the final straws on the proverbial camel’s back that broke me last week and pushed my frustration level to the moon and back. By Friday afternoon I felt utterly disrespected and disillusioned. The sting of betrayal from a superior was more than I could bear and the blindness of the said supervisor that allowed the perceptions of another employee to take precedence over my proven track record of integrity and team work was like salt to the wounds.

I went home for the weekend belittled, indignant, and hurt. Hard work should be the stick we are measured by, not whether we have a degree or what gender we are or what the opinions of other are, right? Why is this happening?

Monday morning rolled around. Leaving the safe shelter of my home to go to work was incredibly difficult. The events of last week still plagued my troubled soul and The Dixie Chicks song Not Ready To Make Nice was playing in my head. I quietly hid in my office for most of the day still seething internally.

I had heard a Proverbs 31 Ministry Moment on the radio on my way to work that said if I wanted God to fight my battles for me then I need to ask him to do that. When I laid down my head to go to sleep Monday night that thought was bouncing around in my head.

I spent a very restless night and eventually woke up around 3:00 am. By 4:30 am I gave up on trying to sleep and decided to get up and spend some extra time with God in his word. I was looking for his comfort and some answers.

By the time I picked up my Bible I had concluded that I can’t change people’s perspectives about me. I had also decided that if someone labels you as “difficult” it is not because you actually are, but because they just don’t want to hear what you have to say. And that is okay because it is their problem and not mine. They must be insecure or stubborn, and they are afraid of what might happen if what you have to say brings about a change.

I was looking for a battle plan. Something I could use to fix the injustices. So I looked to a Psalm that has helped me in the past. In Psalm 25, David is asking for guidance and deliverance from his enemies:

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. O my God, in you I trust; do not let me be put to shame; do not let my enemies exult over me. Do not let those who wait for you be put to shame; Let them be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.

Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth, and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all day long.

Be mindful of your mercy, O Lord, and of your steadfast love, for they have been from of old. Do not remember the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for your goodness’ sake, O Lord!

Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his decrees.

For your name’s sake, O Lord, pardon my guilt, for it is great. Who are they that fear the Lord? He will teach them the way that they should choose.

They will abide in prosperity, and their children shall possess the land. The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes his covenant known to them. My eyes are ever towards the Lord, for he will pluck my feet out of the net.

Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart, and bring me out of my distress. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins.

Consider how many are my foes, and with what violent hatred they hate me. O guard my life, and deliver me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you.

Redeem Israel, O God, out of all its troubles. (NRSV)

Revelation! A flash of insight popped into my head — I am just as much to blame for difficulties I encounter and the frustrations that I am feeling if I don’t trust in the Lord with all my heart. My reluctance to let go and let God lead me through my day has created an opening of bitterness that the Devil is waiting to use to thwart my purposes. This impatience on my part is what is truly causing my unsettled mind! I can’t help how others act or change their perceptions and assumptions about me and I don’t need to.

I need to humble myself and allow Yahweh to lead me. He will guide me along the right paths and he will fight any battles for me. I just need to ask him to be my defender. Then I need to allow him to actually lead me gracefully from season to season.

Tuesday morning looked a lot different in comparison to Monday. A humble Pixie left for work and I started off the day by reading again Psalm 25 out loud at my desk before beginning the days tasks. For the first time in days I could feel a calm and peace descending over me.

Today I ran across Jeremiah 17:7-8 and I am convinced that it is Yahweh telling me that I am on the right path as long as I continue to trust EVERYTHING to him:

Blessed are those who trust in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. They shall be like a tree planted by water, sending out its roots by the stream. It shall not fear when heat comes, and its leaves shall stay green; in the year of drought it is not anxious, and it does not cease to bear fruit. (NRSV)

These two pieces of scripture from the Old Testament are going to be my mantra, at work especially, going forward. I have printed both passages out and they are now taped on my wall right next to my desk. When I arrive each morning I will be using these passages as prayers to help me center myself for the day and to help set my tone and attitude. It is also handy to have them right next to me as I work through the day. I can quickly glance over and re-humble myself to continue on with strength, grace, and integrity.

We all fall down. It is up to us to choose to trust in the Lord and let him help us get back up, or to give a victory to the evil tempter by staying knocked down to dwell on things we can’t change and that are out of our control. No matter what, though, the love and mercy of our heavenly Father is always available to us. Whether we start over right now, tomorrow, or next month, it is never to late to get back up.

It doesn’t matter how many times we fall down either. He will always surround us with his love and help us pick up the pieces and start again. Every. Single. Time.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23, NRSV)

Dying Discernment

January 29, 2015January 13, 2016 Shannon MartinLeave a comment

This coming Monday marks an anniversary of sorts for MC USA. For some it marks a milestone and a step forward, for others it marks a death knell and destruction. It is the one year anniversary of the Mountain States Conference’s (a conference of Mennonite Church USA) decision to license Theda Good as a pastor.

What is so notable about that? Women have been licensed as Mennonite pastors before. What makes the licensing of this particular woman so momentous? The answer is that she is in a committed same-sex relationship. What this historic licensing has done is spark a year of turmoil.

It has started dialogues on whether we need to rethink the provision in the Confession of Faith that defines marriage as a covenant between one man and one woman. It has also started conversations on what does the Bible really say about same-sex relationships. It has us searching for answers to questions about whether homosexual relationships are always wrong, or could they be right if it is a committed relationship between two people.

It has been my experience that we as a denomination strive to include all of God’s children in our folds. We all come with baggage, our own particular brands of sin and shame. We are all humans living in a broken world. However we don’t allow all to serve as leaders in our congregations, as leaders are held to a higher standard according to 1 Timothy 3:1-13:

The saying is sure: whoever aspires to the office of bishop desires a noble task. Now a bishop must be above reproach, married only once, temperate, sensible, respectable, hospitable, and apt teacher, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, and not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, keeping his children submissive and respectful in every way — for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may be puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace and the snare of the devil.

Deacons likewise must be serious, not double-tongued, not indulging in much wine, not greedy for money; they must hold fast to the mystery of faith with a clear conscience. And let them first be tested; then, if they prove themselves blameless, let them serve as deacons. Women likewise must be serious, not slanderers, but temperate, faithful in all things. Let deacons be married only once, and let them manage their children and their households well; for those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and great boldness in the faith that is in Christ Jesus. (NRSV)

So we have standards in place for the people who are leading our congregations. We chose pastors to shepherd our flocks based on credentials and their moral character and worship and various other types of leaders based on their values and whether they have a heart for worship and/or leadership. Those standards have been developed over the years by our denomination through conversations, prayers, and community discernment.

One of the good things that has come out of this is that the conversations are no longer being delayed and hidden. The church body at large is going to have to address how we as a denomination move forward with multiple issues that arise when the topic of homosexuality comes up, not just in terms of leadership roles.

Do we begin the process that will change our Confession of Faith or do we reaffirm that Confession of Faith? How can we address polity issues with grace and in love? What measures can we utilize for accountability among conferences when we feel a conference is acting in violation of our shared beliefs?

In the days ahead the Mennonite denomination needs to have some challenging discussions on very personal topics. We are being called at this moment in time to discern some very hard questions.

However there are also bad things coming out of this. Church dissention is running rampant. Conferences have different views on whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. Congregations are withdrawing from conferences. Many are feeling let down by MC USA’s perceived lack of response to the Mountain States decision, whether they were waiting for the church at the national level to levy support for the decision or administer discipline. New networks are forming, which could possibly be a good thing, but are they forming prematurely?

In addition to churches withdrawing outright from their conferences, others are choosing to remain part of an MC USA congregation but to boycott the scheduled national convention this summer in Kansas City, MS. They are choosing to stay away, and therefore are excluding themselves from the conversations.

And that is my biggest cause for concern. We as a denomination have always valued community discernment on matters of theology and beliefs. How does leading by the Holy Spirit occur in community discernment if we aren’t all showing up for the community conversations?

At the end of the day, no matter how this plays out, some will be happy and others will be angry or hurt. Inevitably there will most likely be some church divisions and splits, but we all need to be present and take part in the conversations going on now. We need to prepare our hearts and minds and use prayer and scriptures for guidance as we relate with one another on our differing views.

Most of all, we need to proceed with love. Show up and be present. Pray for grace and mercy. Discern together with the Holy Spirit and be open to where he leads us. And no matter what, bring glory to God in all that we do.

Then those who revered the Lord spoke with one another. The Lord took note and listened, and a book of remembrance was written before him of those who revered the Lord and thought on his name. They shall be mine, says the Lord of host, my special possession on the day when I act, and I will spare them as parents spare their children who serve them. Then once more you shall see the difference between the righteous and the wicked, between one who serves God and one who does not serve him. (Malachi 3: 16-18, NRSV)

On My Own

January 24, 2015January 13, 2016 Shannon Martin2 Comments

Today was a rare day in my life. I had absolutely nowhere to go and no commitments to keep. Which should be a good thing. A relaxing day of well deserved rest. Except it isn’t. It is days like these that I realize why I over commit myself the way I do.

It is true that I am a people pleaser, but the bigger reason I get involved in so much is because I hate being alone. Which is how I find myself often. All alone. So I volunteer for any and everything in the hopes of finding some company.

Now, to be honest, I haven’t been completely by myself today. There is always the eleven year old son to keep me company. But no adult company. I live a pretty solitary existence.

In general I believe that I am a fairly social creature, and believe that I am a funny person. I try to get along well with others. Yet somehow those special friendships that I see on tv and read about and observe around me seem to elude me.

I have also observed that sometimes the company one keeps comes from within their own families. I also seem to have missed the boat on that as well. Not sure if it is the difference in age between myself and my siblings on my mother’s side, or my distance and separate childhood from my father’s family, but I am not finding the human connections that I am seeking with kinfolk.

In my desperation to achieve the semblence of friendships I have very often allowed myself to be used by others. I have put up with their criticisms of everything that makes me be me and tried to change myself to conform to what they thought I should be, all in the pursuit of having some company. Being condemned in company has to be better than condemning myself alone, right?

Scenes of cozy card games and coffee dates dance in my head. Visions of girls nights out at the movies and book discussions prance through my mind. However I guess that just isn’t in the cards for me.

Periods of the blues have plagued me over the years. I wonder what it is about me that makes people stay away. What is wrong with me? There has to be something about me that keeps people at bay.

So I turn to prayer and motivational books trying to find my purpose in life. I read things that tell me if I find my identity in God then I will never be alone. Another school of thought tells me that if I can just learn to enjoy my own company I will never be alone.

Honestly? I want to be a positive person. I truly believe that God has a plan for each of us. I am just not certain that he wants us to walk alone all the time.

This post seems to contain the word “I” an awful lot. Does that mean that I am too focused on myself? How do I shift that focus to use it for something good and glorifying to God?

I don’t know what it does or doesn’t mean, but I do know that something has to change. To start with, I need to scale back my commitments. My pursuit of fellowship by any means necessary is leaving me exhausted and broken.

Secondly, I am going to have to find a way to cheerfully cope with the fact that people do not seek out my company. I need to accept the fact that the only telephone calls I receive are from the church prayer hotline, my husband, and my mother.

Thirdly, I need to improve my outlook on life. It is never easy. Some days the struggles and disappointments overwhelm me. I need to learn, really truly learn, how to let go and let God handle things in those moments. I try to fix everything that is wrong and end up crumbling under the weight of trying to constantly go it alone.

Today I am sending up prayers to my Father in heaven for his love, guidance, and protection. Surely all of this whirling around in my head, the feelings of insecurity and of being alone, are well placed darts being hurled at me by Satan. His aim is flawless. He hits his mark each and every time.

Loving God, please take my hand and surround me in your love today. Help me to release my internal struggles and pains to you. Teach me to lean on you more and my own understanding less. Amen.

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:29-30, NRSV)

Congregational Impasse

January 19, 2015January 13, 2016 Shannon MartinLeave a comment

It is no secret that our congregations are struggling to stay alive. Sanctuaries that once had standing room only available because the pews were filled are now barely half full. We are hanging on by threads as it gets harder and harder to keep our lights turned on and shining in our communities.

The church is literally dying off! For each elderly member that we lose there isn’t a younger person joining us to fill the spot left vacant. This means we are missing fellowship and community opportunities and mentorship.

Not to mention only a handful of the able-bodied members remaining are available to help with the work needed to provide worship and other things to our church families. The demands of jobs and families leaves little spare time for those who might otherwise volunteer their time. As a result the same few people can consistently be seen doing the organizing and facilitating of congregational events.

We lament over these losses and have come up with a variety of reasons as to why this is happening:

Economics – there are no longer sustainable, good paying jobs in our areas so our children are not staying here
Post Christendom – society is no longer centered around the church
Millennials – the younger generation doesn’t seem to have time for God, if they even know who he is
Sociological – the breaking down of the traditional family unit

Revitalization and outreach have become our buzz words and mantras. We are determined that our particular congregation won’t become just a faded memory or another statistic. Our solutions for fighting our declining numbers is to revitalize our efforts of outreach to the poor souls of our community just waiting to be saved.

For myself, when I joined our current church, I was busy caring for an elderly family member during services and was content to sit back and just take in the Sunday morning service. Eventually our situation changed when the beloved gentleman passed away. Couple the excitement of a new pastor who had fresh, great visions for where our congregation needed to go with a congregation that was supportive of me embracing my gifts from God and I was hooked. Before long being part of something bigger than myself had me rushing to become involved in all that was happening at our church.

Once I was able to catch the vision for the ministries I was given to participate in, there was no stopping me from jumping in head first and giving these ministries everything I had in me, my heart and soul. Growing a new ministry or two to help the church to hopefully grow was exciting, intense, and filled with some awesome fellowship and personal growth moments. There is something intoxicating about knowing that you are fulfilling one of God’s purposes for your life and an eagerness to continue to give him the glory for all that is happening. I was more than happy to do my part to help with outreach and congregational revitalization because I want to ensure our church will still be here for my son to worship in and be a part of down the road.

And for a moment it seems as if maybe, just maybe all the hard work is paying off.

Until you start to see those ministries rise and then slowly die and we as a congregation are no closer to sustainability than when we started. Once the excitement of the new endeavor, be it a vacation bible school program, a more contemporary music blend for worship services, or any other number of ministries that can be introduced, it seems we as congregations lose our excitement over them and no longer volunteer or support those ministries. We are looking for the next great ministry that will be our saving grace.

That is what I have been observing on my ministry walk. I have been part of some very exciting movements of ministry in our congregation. I have soared on the successes of them, and mourned over the failures. Eventually people begin to shift to other roles or decide to not be part of something anymore because they want to give others a chance to be involved. The biggest problem with this logic is that there isn’t anyone standing in line to become a part of these ministries to replace those that are no longer able to serve or those who need a break. We are trying to produce the same quality of services week after week with fewer and fewer people to call on to help fill these roles.

The result of this, for me at least, is that often times I feel as if I have failed in my ministry endeavors. Then I begin to question if I, as a former catholic girl, was too presumptuous in assuming that God had called me to be part of any ministry. What business did I have trying to help minister to the children of God? Rather than feeling joy and fulfillment from my various roles I am feeling increasingly more frustrated and defeated.

Then I was hit with a blinding flash of insight!

We, as congregations, are our own worst enemies. We can blame all of our declining numbers on the factors above and lament over dwindling number of people in our pews each Sunday while feeling sorry for ourselves. In reality what we need to start looking at is what is actually stalling our growth from the inside. Is it stubbornness or a fear of change by some or all of the members? Are we working at cross purposes among ourselves because we don’t have a clear understanding of what our mission as a church body is? Have we identified weaknesses in our communication structures but are slow to find ways to correct the breakdowns?

There are many more internal issues that can also be holding us back. Only after addressing our internal struggles can we start to look at how we can combat the external factors.

I have been learning another really hard lesson on my journey these past several months. I cannot single-handedly fix what is breaking. Nor is it up to me to make sure that things don’t fall apart. Perhaps they are falling apart for a reason and what God helps us find in the ashes of these failed ministry efforts will be greater than anything we can currently envision.

According to the online Merriam Webster Dictionary the definition of the word impasse is:

impasse: a situation in which no progress seems possible

1 a: a PREDICAMENT AFFORDING no obvious escape

b: deadlock

Perhaps it is time for me to step back from the impasse that seems to be occurring in my congregation. In my steadfast belief that we need to make permanent changes in the way we as a congregation see and do church, I don’t want to become the lone dissenting voice of negativity. Maybe the time for my call to change has passed for the moment. It is time to wait until we as a congregation are more coordinated with each other on what our directions for the future should be.

Eventually we are going to need to step out of our comfort zones. Until then I will continue to pray for God’s guidance and strength to move forward and serve as he would have me serve. Or move on if that is what he has in store for me.

Perhaps the congregation isn’t the only one that needs to step out of a comfort zone.

Lead me in your truth, and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all day long. (Psalm 25:5, NRSV)