Feelings of pity and empathy engulfed me as I listened to their story. My heart filled with an overwhelming aching sadness. Before I knew it, tears began filling my eyes, building up until my eyelids reached their full capacity and the tears spilled over and began flowing down my cheeks. As I was driving down the highway. On my way home from work after a long busy day. Listening to the radio. Crying because the fictitious wife in the song blaring out of my speakers had found out she had cancer and her husband is promising to be there for her.
Has anything like this ever happened to you or am I alone in my insanity? Is this the effects of having an over active imagination that can visualize the scenes in the song like they are actually happening and playing out in real life? Or is it a ghost compassion because logically the couple in the song doesn’t exist? Then I justify this in my head, asking myself how many real, live, human couples have had to walk down this long, winding road through a valley? What does this say about me mentally that I am having an emotional outpouring driving down the road?
I hope this means that I am a human being that can feel sympathy and compassion for the human race. Is there something more to this outburst though, lurking in the background? Am I really feeling sorry for myself and wishing for someone to promise to walk down my hard road with me? Anything is possible.
Luckily for me, there is someone who promised me a long time ago, at the moment of my conception in fact, that he would be with me always and would never abandon me. He reaches down from the heavens to hold my hand and guide me, if I would just stop and listen to where he is leading me to.
A few months ago while spending a weekend away with our youth group we ended up on a ropes course designed to help build bonds of trust. The final exercise that afternoon was for the group to pair off, place a blindfold on one of the partners in each group of two, and have the other person give the blindfolded person directions for walking safely forward. Did I mention we were in a mountainous, woody area? We had to rely solely on the verbal instructions coming from our partners and trust that they would protect us from harm and help us to safely arrive at our destination. Half way down the partners switched places. Everyone got to experience the helplessness of needing someone to guide them. Blind trust in action.
Why is it that I didn’t hesitate about putting on a physical blindfold and allowing another human being to direct and guide me down a winding hill path littered with rocks and sticks, but so often I just can’t seem to give this same blind trust to my maker? Most likely because I am stubborn and want to buy into the human concept that I am strong enough to do everything on my own.
Some days I feel like an incredible hypocrite. I know that God has placed callings on my life, and I try to follow them, but I am really making those the priorities in my life? Or am I trying to dictate the outcomes I want in my life.?
When God says, ” My child, I want you to write,” my response is, “Sure thing God, just as soon as I feel comfortable letting go of these other areas I am currently working in to serve you and your children,” when it should probably be “Here I am Lord, lead me and I will follow.”
At the end of the day it all comes down to I need to let go and trust God more. He will provide me with all the tools I need. I need to trust that the Lord will open the right doors for me at the perfect times according to his plans and timeframe, not mine.
So perhaps I wasn’t really crying for pretend people after all, but for myself as I became overwhelmed by his holy presence filling my car. God was talking to me through the music in the car telling me to stop my endless worrying and finally let him truly take over and lead me on my journey. Promising me he knows the way and He will take me all the way to journey’s end. Time to put on that blindfold and follow him.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not rely on your own insight.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your path straight.