Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love, so the lyrics go in the old hymn Come Thou Font of Every Blessing. And boy do I understand! How often have I had to steer myself back to the path God has laid out for me? I am discovering that to follow Jesus, choose joy, press on the upward way, however you like to put it, is something that I have to mentally choose to do each and every day. Then there is that nagging feeling that perhaps the path I am on is not the path intended for me after all, so where is my path? How do I find it? When do I get there? Did I miss it altogether? Didn’t I get a map?
Recent events have led to the discovery that I have a problem. I can’t say NO! I am so eager to serve that I will agree to pretty much any opportunity or request that comes my way. Why, you ask? Because I am a people pleaser who wants to show love and doesn’t want to let anyone down. The results? A stressed out pixie who has no time for her family or herself. Another side effect of this problem is all the noise generated by my busy schedule tends to drown out the silences where little whispers of guidance are spoken to me.
So, where does this leave me? It leaves me on a path of self discovery. God has an incredible journey still in store for me if I will take the time to listen. One of my greatest gifts is curiosity. I love to read! Whether it is studying the women of the Bible because I want to see how God has used women to do his kingdom work, or taking a look at the rise and fall of the kingdoms of Israel and Judah, I can’t get enough! I am fascinated by the Old Testament, and perhaps would someday like to take theology classes. In the present, I intend to continue to read, and then write about the new ideas turning about in my mind. While I am not a scholar, there is no shortage of ideas and opinions floating around in my head. The time has come to release those to gain some new perspectives.
Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin – Zechariah 4:10 (NLT)