What Happened To Love?

Shannon MartinLeave a comment

Our world is hurting.  This season of hope is filled with pain, anguish and suffering for far too many.  Hurt is running rampant.  Many live in fear.  Fear of men.  Fear of their neighbors.

Christians are being exterminated in some parts of the world by extremists who are killing men, women, and children — young and old alike.  All because they cling firmly to their faith and refuse to renounce their God.

Looters are doing damage to property and stealing because they feel that justice hasn’t been served.  In response they are protesting by destroying the homes and businesses of people who had no control over the verdicts.

Mothers are crying for their babies that will never again hug them in this life.

Police officers are no longer safe in their own cars.

Our world is in utter chaos.  It isn’t just happening in some distant part of the world.  It is right here in our own streets.

How can we ever heal all of the pain?  The answer is simple.  We can’t.  All we can do is be there for the lost, the hurt, and the wounded.  Love them.  Comfort them if we can.  And pray.  Always pray.

“You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.”  But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous.  For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have?  Do not even the tax collectors do the same?  And if you greet only your brothers and sister, what more are you doing than others?  Do not even the Gentiles do the same?” (Matthew 5:43-47, NRSV)

But this season we are celebrating by continuing to place our faith and hope for humanity in the small hands of the baby that was born over two thousand years ago.  A baby changes everything, according to a Christmas song recorded by Faith Hill.  As a mother I can say that is definitely true.  However the baby born to Mary and Joseph changed more the just the sleeping habits of Mary and Joseph.  This baby brought love and reconciliation to a cold, dark world.

The wee babe would grow up into a man who didn’t resemble the Messiah the people were expecting.  He was, however, the Savior they needed.  The same Saviour we look to and still need today.  Jesus. A man who reached out to the poor, the marginalized, the sick, women, and the outcasts or down trodden.  Who corrected the educated in the temple and did not seek out the company of the wealthy.

This rebel Messiah led a revolution of love.  He was the son of an unwed mother and the step son of a poor carpenter.  The most unlikely person to become a  powerful savior who would take on the Roman Empire.  Let us be the unlikely people in our time who live out that same message in a broken, hurting world.

The ancient people of Israel missed the lessons of love and forgiveness Jesus brought.  They were more concerned with being citizens of this world and getting the revenge they thought their enemies and persecutors deserved rather than focusing on becoming citizens of heaven and extending a hand of forgiveness.  They were more concerned with removing their oppressors.  So busy in fact that they missed the love and ever lasting joy being offered to them by the longed for Messiah.

Let us strive to remember the message and live in the way the Great Deliverer taught us.  Even as our Lord Jesus hung from the cross, in the utmost anguish, completely innocent of any crimes, he still asked his father to forgive his enemies.  Defiled, humiliated, beaten, and tortured, Jesus still begged forgiveness for the ones who knew not what they did.  He asked for nothing for himself.  He freely forgave his enemies and put their eternal welfare before his own frail human condition.

Love was the guiding principle Jesus taught.  Forgiveness his sovereign decree.  A baby changed everything.

These are the things that you shall do: Speak the truth to one another, render in your gates judgments that are true and make for peace, do not devise evil in your hearts against one another, and love no false oath; for all these are things that I hate, says the Lord. (Zechariah 8:16-17 – NRSV)

Encouraging Who?

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The pictures that played in my head as I decided that the nudges I had been feeling (and continue to feel) where wonderful visions with happy endings straight out of a Hallmark Channel movie.  I envisioned my words bringing comfort to others struggling on their journeys.  God wants ME to share what is in my heart and my experiences with others to encourage them!  Show others that with God all things are possible and we can overcome anything.  Just look at me!

And that is exactly what I am doing today.  Looking at myself.  Humbling myself.  Unfortunately I don’t think I qualify for the role of encourager of others.  I am not even an encouragement to myself.   So maybe as usual I confused the messages I was getting.  I am not supposed to be a light to you, but have you walk with me as I continue to flounder trying to figure out this thing called life.

Have you ever felt like you are caught in the middle of a perfect storm and the winds aren’t letting up?  That is me.  After years of being married, with both of us working full-time jobs, we still struggle just to get by.  There are no savings accounts or investments, very rarely do we splurge on expensive extras (like a massage or new bath towels), and we do not live the American dream in a home that we own.

In fact it is the very opposite.  We are renters living in a tiny trailer that is older than both of us.  That is what the fruits of our hard labors have afforded us.  Fortunately we seem to be able to pay our regular monthly bills on time these days (in the past that hasn’t been the case), but there are definitely no extras of any kind.  My student loan debts, taken on under the delusion that my schooling would result in a better tax bracket for us, are constantly looming over our heads.

Drowning in my sorrows sometimes can overshadow me for a couple of days at a time.  I wouldn’t say that I am depressed and can’t cope, just down trodden and struggling to find the hidden blessings because I am too busy desperately trying to find a light at the end of this never-ending tunnel.

It never fails.  Just when I believe we are on the cusp of gaining at least a piece of security I am swallowed in the storm clouds again.  Once upon a time we owned a home, but a six month period of unemployment caused us to lose everything in bankruptcy and we have spent the past ten years trying to recover from that.  Last week it seemed like dreams of owning a well-built, comfortable home might soon be a possibility for us again with the help of the Rural Housing program through the USDA.  This week that dream is once again threatened.  I found out that the portion of my student loans that have been in voluntary forbearance are once again going to go into repayment, and the monthly payment amount is more than the amount of what the mortgage payment would be on the little house we had set our sights on.  What’s more, I have exhausted my forbearance, and going forward the loans are no longer eligible for voluntary forbearance.

Granted, in the grand scheme of things, my troubles are small.  I am fortunate to live in a country with religious freedom where I am not persecuted and can provide food, clothing, and shelter to my child.   I do give thanks for all of the blessings I have received in my life.  I really do have a lot to be thankful for and remind myself often.  However, in the midst of fighting to survive pay check to pay check I am swept away and overwhelmed.  To paraphrase from Anne of Green Gables, I am drowning in the depths of despair.  I need a Marilla in my life to remind me that to despair is to turn my back on God, so therefore I should not indulge myself in sulking.

Today I read as part of my morning routine the daily devotion emailed to me by Proverbs 31 Ministries.  It was written by Lysa TerKeurst and entitled If You Ever Feel Lonely, Read This.  I must admit that I could identify whole heartedly and see myself in this post.  I often feel alone, and sometimes even lost in a crowd, especially when I am struggling with the latest saga in trying to find a secure financial path for us.  Whether it is a family gathering, a work event, or a church function I can feel oblivious and totally without friends in a room filled with people.  Below is the link for this devotion if you are in need of it today as well.

Proverbs 31 Ministries Daily Devotion – If You Ever Feel Lonely, Read This by Lysa TerKeurst

Perhaps what most grabbed me, besides being able to identify with these feelings, was the verse Lysa chose to begin her post with (below from a different translation) that I had never really noticed before.  I ache with the Psalmist, seeking the same relief from my own inner turmoil.  All these ages later, that cry is the cry of my heart today.  I am seeking comfort from the ultimate Comforter and grasping to cling to hope and stand strong in my faith as my world seems to be in chaos again.

So perhaps what is on my heart for you today, my dear friends, is to let you know that you are not alone in your struggles.  We are all going through our own set of troubles.  In the midst of these storms of life, I am here, praying for you as you row through the crashing waves.  Sometimes we just need to know someone is thinking about us to help us press onward, and remember that God never leaves us.  We are never truly alone if we live our lives with the help of our Father’s guiding hands.  He will captain our ships as we sail through each storm and find calm waters.

Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.  Relieve the troubles of my heart, and bring me out of distress. (Psalms 25: 16-17 – NRSV)

 

 

The Advent of Waiting

Shannon Martin1 Comment

Lights are twinkling, trees are decked, and Bing Crosby is once more crooning on radio stations and in stores.  Mr. Max is full of anticipation of the Christmas morning to come  with dreams of fabulous presents.  Plans are being made for yuletide celebrations.  The Christian community is waiting and reflecting during the advent season.  My house is not an exception.  We are decorated, we are waiting, and I at least, have been reflecting.  I am not sure what we are waiting for this year though.

It seems almost surreal that we are already once again in the season of hope.  I feel as though I only just took down the decorations and put the Christmas tree away last week.  Where has this past year gone?  Did I take part in it at all?  My overall demeanor is closer to the Grinch than to an eager Christian celebrating the birth of God’s salvation plan for man.

As I reflect on the past twelve months I observe that, while I am about 20 pounds lighter, my year wasn’t spent losing weight by embracing a new healthier lifestyle.  Nor was it spent in hours of prolific writing as I have only eighteen blog posts prior to this one to brag about in addition to a few handwritten journal entries.  My schedule isn’t any lighter, I am still over committed in many areas of my life leaving no time for new callings.  Although I have read several books this year, it was nowhere near the amount I had intended to devour  in the pursuit of educating myself and has barely made a dent into the ever-growing list of material to read.

I find myself in a funk of sorts this Advent wondering why the usual joy and excitement that usually comes in this season of giving for me is missing.  Is there something wrong with me?  Have the stresses of this past year worn me down leaving me too exhausted to feel the normal excitement?  Or is this perhaps a rite of passage somehow connected with me becomimg another year older?

Is it possibly the results of a deeper faith and a maturing relationship with Jesus, the Savior, whose birth we are celebrating this month?  I would like to think so, but I am still a babe with a lot to learn when it comes to having a deep and meaningful relationship with the Father.  Maybe I am not feeling overjoyed by the season itself because I have been in reflection and anticipation mode all year in a different kind of Advent?   I have been embracing the spirit of the Advent season all year.

Many of the posts I have written have centered around what I am anticipating is a new calling for me.  A lot of reflection has been done on what my kingdom work is going forward.  Future posts may need to revolve around patience for God’s timing and embracing faith, hope, and joy.

This year has taught me some valuable lessons.  I don’t have to be the “Yes” person all the time.  There are limits on my time and energy levels and no matter how much I want to please others I just can’t possibly ever do it all.  It has also shown me that the limits I put on myself can be quickly overcome when I listen to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit in my ear.

So it is my prayer that with God’s grace and help, I will stop focusing on what I haven’t done this past year and begin focusing even more on the One who can do impossible things in me.  I will reflect, anticipate, and wait for whatever He has in store for me yet and concentrate on my callings going into an as yet uncertain future.  Perhaps the most important thing I need is to realize and learn is I am part of God’s Kingdom on Earth and I need to be present and doing my part in the here and now at this particular stage of my life.   No more peering into a distant future that I can’t see, but showing up to be present today.

Watching.

Waiting.

Listening for the one who calls me, ready to answer His bidding.

Happy is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at my doors. (Proverbs 8:34 – NRSV)

 

Making Sense of Good-bye

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Good-bye.  These two words that we utter together daily as we go about our lives slip glibly off our tongues.  We say it as we leave our houses each morning to go to work or school.  We say it again to coworkers before heading home.  We say it casually when we take our leave from places.  It is a common place expression.  We never think about it because it has become an automatic phrase on our lips.

This simple little expression seems harmless enough, but it can be the most painful words you ever utter.  Some of the darkest days we experience on this journey through life are the ones in which we say good-bye and it is permanent and final.

Good-bye changes us forever.  We lose a piece of ourselves that we never get back.  Loved ones pass away, leaving us with only the memories of the all the special things about them that are tucked away in our hearts.  Friends move away, and you never quite recover from the hurt caused by their departure.

We comfort ourselves and each other by saying things like, “they are in a better place”, or, “at least there isn’t any more pain for them”.  Whether the permanence of a move, or the finality of death, you never quite recover from the ache caused by the loss of family and cherished friends.

I wonder if we even realize what it is we are actually saying.  It is more than just an expression used to say that we are parting.  If you were to look up good-bye in Webster’s dictionary you may be surprised.  The origin of this expression is God be with you. 

As this was sinking into my brain I began to realize just how awesome this is!  Despite the emotional pain we experience as part of the human condition, we are actually expressing the wish of the ultimate joy of being in the presence of God for the person that is moving on.  Is there anything more wonderful than going home?

Good-bye is really us committing our loved ones and friends into the hands of our loving Father in heaven who loves us infinitely more than we can ever love each other.  So maybe good-bye isn’t permanent after all. Instead it is the embodiment of hope expressed in words.   It is just “so long untill we meet again in our Father’s house.”

Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Believe in God, believe also in me.  In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places.  If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also.  And you know the way to the place where I am going. (John 14:1-4, NSRV)

A Servant’s Heart

Shannon MartinLeave a comment

Heart and soul.  That is what I have poured into the different ministries I have been involved with over the past four years.  The results of this has been successful vacation bible schools, a well-organized praise team (for the most part), hours of small group fellowship with the worship committee and praise team planners, and the development of dear friendships that I will hold in my heart for the rest of my life.

There have been long hours spent painting scenery, copying music, and planning worship.  Countless more hours have been spent reading books and articles to help me learn more about the art and skill of leading others, and finding a place of true worship for myself.  Yet all of the hours are worth it, because the reward is seeing the kingdom seeds that are being sown in the people who pass through our doors.

At times, more often than not, it is a thankless job.  No one really knows or sees all of the details that need to be taken care of as you work quietly behind the scenes.  I have been so successful at working in the shadows,  in fact, that sometimes the general congregation has no idea I was even involved with a program or project, and I actually kind of prefer it to be that way.  I am uncomfortable when people come up to me to compliment me or thank me for doing a specific part of the service, handling a task, or on something that I have written.  I don’t know how to respond to their praise.

It can be filled with stress and strife.  Being the face of change in a worship service makes you the target of all of the well-meaning souls that are on a quest to save you from leading the congregation down a road they feel is inappropriate in the realms of worship.  People will tell you not to take these comments personally, but it is hard to separate yourself from the ministry that is being criticized because it has become a part of your identity.

Before long you will discover that you are one of the first people to arrive at church on Sunday morning and one of the last to leave the sanctuary at the conclusion of the service.  While the congregation is engaging in exchanging greetings and news of the week, you are busily making sure the music is in order and praying for peace and calm to make it through your part of the service. Then as people are filing out and complimenting the pastor on a well given sermon you are putting away music stands and equipment.  It goes without saying that you are the last person to get to the pot luck line every time.

Fortunately when you have a servant’s heart you aren’t looking for credit or accolades.  You are working as a child of the King of Heaven and Earth, seeking to bring glory and honor to his name.  The joy you feel isn’t from public acknowledgement.  It comes from within your heart as you feel God smiling down on you.  This is one of the purposes that he created you for, and he loves to see you thriving in your ministry roles.

However, it is easy for a person with a servant heart to become overwhelmed and mired down in a lot of tasks that do not bring them any joy.  When you are a person with a servant’s heart you find it incredibly difficult to say no.  People flock to you when they need help with just about anything.  Before you even realize what is happening you find yourself on multiple committees heading up a myriad of tasks.  You are driven by a desire to serve both God as well as all of humanity.

A servant’s heart can be easily wounded.  The tender heart that is serving does so to bring glory to God, but also to be a light to others and help give them a little bit of joy along the way.  The ministries that the servant heart is a part of become as precious to them as children.   It is very hard to watch these ministries go through changes or die out completely.  It is also hard to explain why you can’t just let go if you are becoming overwhelmed.  If your child were about to stumble you would do all you could to catch them and prevent them from falling.  It is the same thing when it comes to a ministry.  You can’t let it fall if there is anything in your power that you can do to help it not stumble or trip up along the way.

It can be a very lonely place.  You are so busy taking care of others that no one realizes that perhaps you might need cared for as well.  Natalie Grant sings a song called “Back At My Heart”, and I think she has captured the essence of a person with a servant heart:

Strong on the outside
But coming apart at the seams
That’s me

Tragically always together
But bruised underneath
Well, that’s me

I stand just to stumble
Tripping on my pride
Why do I always try to hide?

Read more: Natalie Grant – Back At My Heart Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Right, wrong, or indifferent, the person with a servant heart is still only human.  We have passions, quirks, and short comings.  We lean very heavily on our God above for strength  in our weaknesses and to help us in our brokeness.  We also love with all that is in us and have a fierce loyalty and sense of responsibility.

Perhaps there are different kinds of servant hearts out there, but this is what mine looks like.  And that is okay because according to Psalm 139:14, I am fearfully and wonderfully made (NRSV).