Of The World But Not In It

Shannon Martin1 Comment

As church attendance dwindles in this post Christendom age we, as the faithful, seem to be forgetting a very important reality of being a Christian.  Christ called us to live in this world, but to not be of it.  We, as his children, are set apart from the world view and called to live with a Christocentric view instead.

In Romans 12:2 (NRSV)we read,

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.

So we are called to live by a different set of rules.  Every parent establishes rules for their children to be guided by and to live within.  God the Father is no different.  Jesus spent his time here on earth establishing the new laws of love during his ministry and by becoming our example of how to live.

How then to we do this?  To begin with, we need to be people of faith everyday, not just on Sundays.  To be sure, church attendance is important.  However, it isn’t meant to satisfy the “religion” requirement of our lives that we check off each week.

No, church is meant to be a refueling of our faith.  The place where we go to above all worship our mighty God and shower him with our thanksgiving and praise.  It is also a place for us to fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Christ and to refill ourselves with things that are good.

Here is where we hold each other accountable.  Here is where we seek prayer and guidance in our struggles.  We get refilled with the fellowship of the Holy Spirit.  This renews us to go back out into the world around us and shine our lights into the broken darkness.

Recently in a Sunday School class with our youth we had a lesson on this very thing.  We talked about how the choices we make when it comes to every day things, like what television shows we choose to watch or what movies we choose to go see or the music we choose to listen to, are the very things that may set us apart.

It can be very hard to tell our group of friends that we are choosing to not see a new popular release film because we feel that it isn’t appropriate.  We as humans want to be accepted.  To often in our culture I think we are saying to ourselves what harm will it do if I see this/hear this/support this?  I know the difference between right and wrong, moral and immoral, virtue and sin.

And there in lies the dangerous trap.  Once we see or hear something, good or bad, we can’t remove that from our brains.  It will forever more be in there.  So while it seems harmless enough to watch that block buster movie filled with loose morals and crass and vulgar language, we are accepting the messages they are filling our brains with.  Eventually we may even begin to question why is this so wrong as we hear the Evil One whispering in our ears.

In the verse above, we are called to renew our minds.  Rather than filling ourselves with garbage, strive to seek out stuff that is filling and good.  In doing this we will draw closer to God in our walk and be able to discern his voice more clearly in a noisy and chaotic world.

It is no different from the foods we eat.  If we choose to eat nothing but fast food cheese burgers our physical health will be poor as we pollute our bodies with little or no good nutrients. However, when we choose to eat a diet balanced in lean meats, low-fat dairy, vegetables, and whole grains we promote good health within and have the energy we need to go about our lives.

Our spiritual health needs to be fed a constant diet of things that are good and acceptable and perfect.  Choose to walk the path of showering the love of the radical Messiah.  One good choice by you can lead to another good choice by someone else.

Be the rebel that chooses substance over meaningless nothings.

 

Mommy Failure

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Today started out just like so many morning seem to start off anymore.  Max moving slow, if at all.  No initiative to get dressed for the day.  Complaints about having to go to school.  Complaints about having to get up early, forgetting the fact that he woke up early on both Saturday and Sunday all on his own.  Reminders to put on deodorant and brush his teeth.  Did you put your keys in your book bag?  Did you put on your deodorant.  Go brush your teeth…and then the big question.  Max, what are you planning to do this week to bring up your grades by the end of this week?

Pause for a flashback.

Max has always struggled with school.  Every year I have been on speed dial with his teachers.  They all look to me to tell them how to handle my son so that he doesn’t have melt downs and so that he focuses on the task at hand rather than being a distraction to the rest of the class.  Unfortunately I don’t feel I am of much help in this area.  I deal with him one on one with no other children present.

Kindergarten was rough.  Max was a very active little boy who didn’t like to sit still.  However, after two years of preschool I thought he was at least prepared for what was to come with school and that he would be able to cope.  fidget, yes, but cope with doing as he is told and function like any other normal, healthy little boy.

First and second grade continued to contain the conversations about how they just can’t seem to get my son to focus, but he is very smart and he will grow out of this eventually.  By third and fourth grade the teachers were telling me that he was very smart, but that he was slow in maturing behaviorally, however, at no point was he tested for anything, it was still more or less chalked up to he will eventually grow out of it.

Fifth grade marks the first year that there was a failing grade on the report card for one class in one semester.  I didn’t really hear from any teachers last year, but did keep in contact with the teacher that Max had received the failing grade from.  While none of Max’s grades were outstanding, for the rest of the year he managed to C’s and B’s, and a occasional A.

Then there is this year.  Max is at a new school as we moved over the summer.  Within the first week of school I was contacted and asked if he could be placed into Title I for Language Arts.  They  wanted to try to ensure that he was getting settled into the new school and to help him to once and for all learn how to get himself organized in order to be able to succeed in school.

First nine weeks produced many conversations with the Title I teacher, as well as two conferences with all of his teachers and multiple telephone calls.

His grades are atrocious.

He is defiant.

He is choosing to not do work.

He is having melt downs regularly during class.

This past weekend brought home progress reports for the second nine weeks, and Max’s was not good.  I knew this before I ever saw the report on Friday, and had already made arrangements with the guidance counselor to send home another progress report at the end of this week.  The purpose was to give Max a chance to bring two of those grades up.  The guidance counselor feels that it is reasonable to do over this next week.

Once again the Max and I talk about his grades.   I tell him he has one week to make a reasonable effort that we can see or lose electronics over Christmas break.  I try to impress on the boy who doesn’t like school the importance of doing the work and passing as opposed to choosing to only do what he wants and risk the consequences of failing and prolonging his school years.

Fast forward back to this morning:

As Max is eating his breakfast and I am signing his  folder that goes back I asked him what he thinks would be a good plan for working on his grades this week.  Answer?  “I don’t know.”  This was followed up by something to the effect of it doesn’t matter what he does because his teachers don’t like him and will give him bad grades just because.

HE IS A VICTIM!!!!!  Silly me!  What was I thinking?

At this point, I am very ashamed to say, psycho Mom arrived for breakfast.    I said many things that even as they were coming out of my mouth I regretted.  In the midst of it all, I am hoping that my defiant, victim of a little man got the message that his poor grades are the direct results of his choices to not complete work or to not follow the directions and complete the work as assigned.  Not because his teachers don’t like him.  Which based on all of my face time with his teachers couldn’t be further from the truth.

And now I am just left sitting here wondering at what point did I mess up as his mother?

At what point did my parenting allow for him to become this defiant little person who only does what he wants to do?

Much more importantly, how do I fix it?  How do I teach him not to see himself as a constant victim?  How do I instill in him that he needs to be responsible for himself and that he has to accept the results of his choices?

That he needs to put on deodorant EVERY DAY.

This motherhood thing has always been scary, but right now it has me terrified.  We have done the whole school thing for seven years at this point.  When does the maturity finally kick in?  When does the struggle ever end?

Even more important than that how do I find the patience to deal with this trying little boy who is struggling to grow up?  He seems so isolated and alone.  Where are the good friends that I keep praying for to appear in his life?

Max is an incredibly intelligent and funny little man with a GIANORMOUS heart.  He is so incredibly sensitive.  It is killing this mother’s heart of mine to watch him struggling to make friends and to find his place.

And I am praying.  Fervently.  Constantly.

For wisdom.

For patience.

For guidance.

For comfort.

For peace.

Loving Father,  keep this precious little soul that you have gifted me with safe.  You have placed this little man in my care, Father, equip me to be the mother he needs.  Give me the wisdom to know how to speak with him both to encourage and to teach.  My soul cries out for patience with him.  Help me to find calm and still the angry and harsh words that are all to quick to fly out of my mouth like darts at my poor hurting boy.  Guide my thoughts and heart Lord, as we continue to raise this child up to know you and your ways.  Bring me comfort as I despair for him.  You know his heart Lord.  Be a balm of comfort there.  Help me to be the peaceful presence in our home as opposed to the whirling tornado of emotions that seems to be me most days.  Father, I know that ultimately he is in your loving care.  In Jesus loving name I pray, Amen.

I really don’t have any answers.  Motherhood has been my greatest joy and toughest assignment.  I am not used to not doing something well.  The outcome of this assignment is monumental.  My precious boy and his future are what is at stake.  I can’t be a failure at this.  So, this mother’s heart will continue to pray and cry out to Yahweh.  My trust is in the Lord.

I know, O Lord, that your judgments are right,
    and that in faithfulness you have humbled me.
 Let your steadfast love become my comfort
    according to your promise to your servant.
 Let your mercy come to me, that I may live;
    for your law is my delight.

Psalm 119: 75-77 (NRSV)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advent Anguish and A World Lost in the Darkness

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Advent is here and halfway gone at this point.  Two candles are burning tonight as we do our family reading.  The flames dancing a beautiful and joyful dance as my boys pay rapt attention to the words that I am reading eager to find Christ in our Christmas season.
This year I am feeling in a new way the pain and confusion and fear that the occupied children of Israel felt all those years ago as they longed for the Messiah to come.  Hysteria and distrust and division are running rampant here in our country and around our world.
Neighbor is judging neighbor and vice versa.
Liberals are judging conservatives and vice versa.
Caucasians are judging African-Americans and vice versa.
Church goer is judging a church goer of another denomination and vice versa.
Christians are judging non-Christians and vice versa.
Christians are judging Muslims and vice versa.
And all of this judging is leading to mass chaos and confusion and fear.  We fear what we can’t see or what we can’t understand.  But we are to busy judging everything and everybody that we aren’t taking the time to understand and embrace our differences.  We are so convinced that our ways are the only right ways.  The only intelligent ways.  The only logical ways.
And we struggle on together sinking further into darkness.  Satan is dancing in glee as he watches us tear each other apart.
We all want to know all the reasons and have all of the answers for all of the problems in our lives, work places, churches, communities, schools, countries — the list is endless.  We forget that we don’t understand the ways in which God moves in the world or that it just isn’t possible for us to always understand why something has happened.  We have to have faith and trust God to work through us to reach the lost.  Only he can bring about changes in the hearts of people:
Seek the Lord while he may be found,
    call upon him while he is near;
 let the wicked forsake their way,
    and the unrighteous their thoughts;
let them return to the Lord, that he may have mercy on them,
    and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
 For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord.
 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:6-9 (NRSV)
I am learning to try to let go and let God.  No changes come that he isn’t behind.  It really isn’t my place to judge anyone.  Just as it isn’t my place to have all the answers to all of the world’s problems.
 I am a sinner too.  My sins are most likely different sins and a combination of things unique to my brokeness, but sin is sin.  We all have a sinful human nature.  The only fix for that is to accept God’s gift of costly saving grace and to give him thanks and praise for it.  In return we need to learn how to live in obedience to his will and with a humble heart.
And we are called to LOVE.
But there is just so much hate.
So much anger.
So much fear.
 So much rage.
And my soul is suffocating…
I have seriously been contemplating a Facebook fast because all of the hate and anger and fear that is showing up all over my news feeds.  It is so overpowering and oppressive.  It physically hurts me to see all of the nastiness and the lack of any compassion or empathy for anyone anywhere.  This season of joy has felt anything but joyful.
The world isn’t black and white.
It isn’t us against them.
It isn’t Christian or Muslim.
It is all of it.  It is Christian and Muslim, and Hindu, and Aethiest, and Anarchist and a hundred other kinds of unique value systems.
It is a swirl of greys with all the rainbows of diversity mixed in and as long as we as humans refuse to look into the swirls we are going to continue to descend into ever darkening chaos!   Have we learned nothing in all this time that the world has been turning?  Violence begets violence, and may bring about a temporary cease-fire.  Peace brought about by violence doesn’t last.  Perhaps it is time to look at the third way that we learn from the baby who was born to save us and grew to into the sacrifical lamb who became our Savior.
We are not the new Israel.  Even if we discerned that we were, Jesus brought love to temper the law of the Old Testament.  Is there genocide and massive killing and destruction in the Bible?  Yes there is, but there are many more instances when the children of Israel trusted in Yahweh to fight their battles for them.  And he did just that.
With pestilence to  hinder and weaken the enemy.
With confusion for the enemy.
With a boy who would be King who won an entire battle by taking down just one soldier, not an entire army, let alone a nation of people.
With his mighty angel armies.
Even though I keep considering a Facebook fast, it hasn’t happened yet.  I noticed a conversation on a post yesterday and added a comment which I think is fitting to end this as well:
We as the Christian church in America, regardless of the denomination, have all forgotten that Jesus overturned everything with his commands to LOVE – friends AND enemies. We as a society have got to learn that we can love each other as human beings without accepting all of the actions and/or beliefs of others. We can show mercy and love and compassion to each other. We don’t have to “fix” everyone so that they think and believe just like us. That is the work of God with the Holy Spirit and is done in his own time. We are simply called to love as the hands and feet of God as he calls us to move and work for his Kingdom. A watered down version of his very radical and powerful lesson I know. Tolerance has become a twisted version of itself and more or less seems to be ceasing to exist.
“True tolerance is not a total lack of judgement. It’s knowing what should be tolerated, and refusing to tolerate that which shouldn’t.” – Chuck Colson

Still Wondering — What Happened To Love?

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Originally posted in December of 2014, I am incredibly saddened by how relevant all of these thoughts and feelings are to this upcoming season as well.  We can’t quite seem to grasp the concept that Jesus, the reason for the season, is LOVE:

Our world is hurting.  This season of hope is filled with pain, anguish and suffering for far too many.  Hurt is running rampant.  Many live in fear.  Fear of men.  Fear of their neighbors.

Christians are being exterminated in some parts of the world by extremists who are killing men, women, and children — young and old alike.  All because they cling firmly to their faith and refuse to renounce their God.

Looters are doing damage to property and stealing because they feel that justice hasn’t been served.  In response they are protesting by destroying the homes and businesses of people who had no control over the verdicts.

Mothers are crying for their babies that will never again hug them in this life.

Police officers are no longer safe in their own cars.

Our world is in utter chaos.  It isn’t just happening in some distant part of the world.  It is right here in our own streets.

How can we ever heal all of the pain?  The answer is simple.  We can’t.  All we can do is be there for the lost, the hurt, and the wounded.  Love them.  Comfort them if we can.  And pray.  Always pray.

“You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.”  But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous.  For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have?  Do not even the tax collectors do the same?  And if you greet only your brothers and sister, what more are you doing than others?  Do not even the Gentiles do the same?” (Matthew 5:43-47, NRSV)

But this season we are celebrating by continuing to place our faith and hope for humanity in the small hands of the baby that was born over two thousand years ago.  A baby changes everything, according to a Christmas song recorded by Faith Hill.  As a mother I can say that is definitely true.  However the baby born to Mary and Joseph changed more than just the sleeping habits of Mary and Joseph.  This baby brought love and reconciliation to a cold, dark world.

The wee babe would grow up into a man who didn’t resemble the Messiah the people were expecting.  He was, however, the Savior they needed.  The same Saviour we look to and still need today.  Jesus. A man who reached out to the poor, the marginalized, the sick, women, the outcasts, and the down trodden.  Who corrected the educated in the temple and did not seek out the company of the wealthy.

This rebel Messiah led a revolution of love.  He was the son of an unwed mother and the step son of a poor carpenter.  The most unlikely person to become a  powerful savior who would take on the Roman Empire.  Let us be the unlikely people in our time who live out that same message in a broken, hurting world.

The ancient people of Israel missed the lessons of love and forgiveness Jesus brought.  They were more concerned with being citizens of this world and getting the revenge they thought their enemies and persecutors deserved rather than focusing on becoming citizens of heaven and extending a hand of forgiveness.  They were more concerned with removing their oppressors.  So busy in fact that they missed the love and ever lasting joy being offered to them by the longed for Messiah.

Let us strive to remember the message and live in the way the Great Deliverer taught us.  Even as our Lord Jesus hung from the cross, in the utmost anguish, completely innocent of any crimes, he still asked his father to forgive his enemies.  Defiled, humiliated, beaten, and tortured, Jesus still begged forgiveness for the ones who knew not what they did.  He asked for nothing for himself.  He freely forgave his enemies and put their eternal welfare before his own frail human condition.

Love was the guiding principle Jesus taught.  Forgiveness his sovereign decree.  A baby changed everything.

These are the things that you shall do: Speak the truth to one another, render in your gates judgments that are true and make for peace, do not devise evil in your hearts against one another, and love no false oath; for all these are things that I hate, says the Lord. (Zechariah 8:16-17 – NRSV)

Making Sense of Darkness

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Today as we add filters of the French flag to our Facebook profile pictures, we read with horror all of the emerging details of the horrific  attacks in Paris yesterday.  We struggle to make sense of it all, and as humans we sometimes begin to question where was God?  How could he let this happen?  The simplest answer to this question is we just don’t know.

This made me recall a poem written by Grandpa Eber that I included in a post  called It Is Good – Eber’s Legacy back in August of 2014.  As we continue to pray for the people of Paris and all of the families affected and in need of healing, take a moment to glean some comfort from the word of this dear departed gentleman in the following excerpt from that post :

It Is Good…..God Called It So

How could God be so remiss

To put us in a world like this?

This world is evil, of little worth,

We’ve heard this said about the earth.

Why put us in this evil place,

Did this show lack of grace?

This we endure, it is our curse,

We think that nothing could be worse.

Are His motives then suspect?

Such thoughts we quickly should reject

If we remember as we should.

He formed the world, then called it good.

Goodness we should contemplate,

It shows His care and love so great;

Sunrise and sunset, sky so bright,

He gives us light, for he is Light.

He gives us such joys to bless our days,

We should respond with love and praise;

Created things we now applaud

And worship the Creator God.

When time shall end, He’ll show us more,

Still greater things He holds in store;

Then we will finally understand

This is what he always planned.

How did Eber know the world would look so hopeless just three short years after his death?  Christians are being exterminated in Iraq and other places, children are being gunned down in schools, women are being forced into sex trafficking, millions are being displaced or fleeing the violence in their homelands, and the threats of terror and violence are making people afraid to go about their daily lives.  It is probably human nature to question the why of it all and want God to explain and answer why he would allow such atrocities to happen.  We must put the blame for it all on SOMEONE.

It occurs to me that my generation is probably not the first generation to say the world has become a cold and hopeless place, how will humanity survive,  what possible future can my child have in a world like this?  We are seeing a lot of evil right now all around, but the generation before us dealt with the Cold War, Vietnam and segregation, and the one before that with World War II, and the one before that with the Great Depression, and the one before that with World War I, and the one before that with the Spanish-American War, and the one before that with the Reformation period and the one before that the Civil War — I could keep listing, going on and on, backward over the decades to list the tragedies and travesties that have been plaguing humanity since time began, not just here in the United States but across the globe.

These words of Eber’s followed by my thoughts from over a year ago strike me as being relevant today.  May we continue to try to be people of peace and light in a world that is struggling and dark.  As long as we have faith, hope, and love we can each in our own ways make this world a better place.  Our God sits on the throne, and he will conquer all evil.  The battles are being waged, but the war is already won.

Dear brothers and sisters in Paris, may the God of Light fill you with comfort and wrap each of you in his loving arms.  In the days and weeks to come may you begin to feel his healing balm in your lives.  As the apostle Paul said in Ephesians, Stand firm!  We must stand firm in our faith and stand firm in the promises of God.  Horrible things happen at the hands of other men, but God is the great Physician. Turn to him, let his healing begin to wash over the streets of Paris tonight.

Then your light shall break forth like the dawn, and you healing shall spring up quickly; your vindicator shall go before you, the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. – Isaiah 58:8 (NSRV)